In 6 hours..

A whole new year is about to begin and i'm embracing it with my arms w i d e open.
2005 will only get more exciting as i flirt around with my interests...

1) Learn guitar. The guitar Jing gave me for my birthday is growing mold..So gotta rock n roll.
2) To Japan. Wooing Japan has to take on a higher level. I've checked out on SEPs offered in NUS, and set my sights on Keio University. Plus will get involved in a Club. And certainly, the quest to Japan has to be realised.
3) Get fitter. It's never easy to discipline myself to get the physique that i want. But in 2005, yes. With Raymond as my running budd, we shall cover some distance. Hit the gym!
4) Study harder. Just gotta play safe and pull my cap up to 4. And that means staying for longer hours in the library. mugging that is.
5) Part-time job(s). The incessant need for more and more money..to finance my huge budget for 2005.
6) Volunteer work. Always thought of getting started,but.. Maybe with a community-involvement project.

Ok,that's all for now..

A New Order

Decided to revamp my blog. Approachin a new yr.
Gesamtkunstwerk meaning a total work of art did not seem to be realised..lookin at the plain blog i have. Urgh.
So Aliv(f)e less ordinary seemed quaint enough.

Ok,i caught Nobody Knows(Dare mo shiranai) yesterday evening with Jing. http://www.daremoshiranai.com
It's a japanese docu-drama, more well-known as the one where its 14yo child actor, Yagira Yuya, snatched the throne of Best Actor of Festival de Cannes 2004 from Tony Leung. It subtly moved me and i felt so much for the characters.

Very coincidentally, i met thomas at Bedok mrt station on the way to the movies and also, on the way back when i alighted at Bedok. This reminds me of the times when i met him during my flight back from Taiwan training and also, when I reached Wallaby for training. Sometimes it's a little unbelievable.

The recent catastrophe that fell upon us, man(un)kind, set me in an escapist mode. I refuse to read the depressing reports on the news and when i turn on the news on tv, i just can't bear to watch the reports. You can be a farmer in the fields of Chennai or a rich businessman on holiday at Phuket, what you have in life you can't bring with you in death. So that's a reminder to cherish every single moment on earth. And where's God hiding in a time like this?

Dear God from Sarah McLachlan : Rarities, B-Sides, and Other Stuff (1996)

"i don't believe in heaven and hell no saints,
no sinners, no devil as well no pearly gates,
no thorny crown you're always letting us humans down
the wars you bring, the babes you drown
those lost at sea and never found
and it's the same the whole world 'round
the hurt i see helps to compound
that father, son and holy ghost
is just somebody's unholy hoax
and if you're up there you'd perceive
that my heart's here upon my sleeve
if there's one thing i don't believe in
it's you... dear god."

Boxing Day..

boxing day's not a day for empty boxes from xmas prezzies to be thrown away...

well,got my exam results finally.
it turned out better than i expected, esp psych.
did worst for the subject i put in most effort n passion - theatre studies.

well,the straits times did an A to Z of the significant events of 2004.
Here i'll be doing a spoof...

A is for Acting. Caught the acting bug again aft a 5 yr hiatus cos of theatre studies. but did a bad job so.. rather memorable.

B is for Birthday parties. Attended more birthday parties this yr than any other yr cos most of my friends turn 21 this yr.

C is for C

D is for Depression. The most frequent term i associate myself with.

E is for E

F is for Faye Wong. Attended her much anticipated concert. One of my wishes in life fulfilled. And not forgetting her long awaited movie 2046.

G is for

H is for Hospitals. Visited the hospital 3 times in june. Johnson for his strange probs, Mingyen for dengue, thomas's father..

I is for

J is for Japan. My pursuit for the Japanese culture has taken flight and declared a major in it.

K is for

L is for

M is for MP3 player. My deeply missed Creative MP3 player...losin you was like losin a part of me...

O is of cos for...ORD. 11 June 2004.

P is for Projects and part-time jobs.

Q is for

R is for Runs. I completed the 2nd link Run(10km) 10 Oct 2004 and Standard Chartered half marathon(21.1km) 5 Dec 2004.

S is for Study. School officially started on 13 Aug 2004. Having to go to school after a 3 year break just needed some adjustment...

T is for Theatre. Watched quite a number of theatre productions this yr. Necessary Stage's "Sing Song", NUS's "Twilight of the Gold",Wild Rice's "The Visit of the Tai Tai" and Luna-Id's "The Physicist".

U is for U

V is for V

W is for W

X is for X

Y is for Yanjing. Needless to say.

Z is for Z

Still thinkin of the rest of the alPhabets...

The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire)
Nat King Cole
[Lyrics by Mel Torme ]

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Jack Frost nipping at your nose,
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir,
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe,
Help to make the season bright,
Tiny tots with their eyes all a-glow,
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Santa's on his way
He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh,
And ev'ry mother's child is gonna spy,
To see if reindeer really know how to fly.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
To kids from one to ninety-two,
Although it's been saidMany times, Many ways
Merry Christmas to you.

That has gotta to be my fave xmas song.

And of cos, in all my 21 yrs i've been dreamin of a white xmas...
"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card I write
May your days be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be white."

in 2 hrs, santa will be arrivin...
good night santa.

The Plight of Loneliness

"I never said, 'I want to be alone.' I only said, 'I want to be left alone.' There is all the difference. " - Greta Garbo

"With some people solitariness is an escape not from others but from themselves. For they see in the eyes of others only a reflection of themselves."
- Eric Hoffer

"If you are alone you belong entirely to yourself....If you are accompanied by even one companion you belong only half to yourself, or even less, in proportion to the thoughtlessness of his conduct; and if you have more than one companion you will fall more deeply into the same plight." - Leonardo da vinci

Loneliness sometimes call on me. very discreetly, it slowly engulfs me.
and i actually acknowledges it and even embraces it.
it fearfully dawns on me that i can feel loneliness even amongst my loved ones.
maybe because i think that they do not understand me.
maybe they seem to be miles and miles away from me.

Ok, snap out of this.
Today i tutored a new kid - Keith.
He's such a bright boy.
I wish I was like him at his age.
Oh,i jus gotta bring it back. This kid has got loneliness written all over his face.
Apparently, his parents work all 7 days a week.
He's so shy, i promised myself to make him speak up in the weeks to come.
A house no matter how exorbitantly furnished can still fail to equate as a home.
this is the natural evil of the society today.

I see some light...

it feels like i'm gettin better.
decided to quit the starhub job to help mum.
finally met up with kevin at T2 coffeebean.
it's always nice to talk with him cos there's so much to share.
i made a resolution to travel to Japan next yr..so gotta start savin real hard. at least cold hard cash of 2000bucks..whoa
also,made a trip down to parkway to look for xiangrong. he's almost the same aft these yrs.. hopefully wiser.

Depression is...

losing interest in life.

actually start to find bloggin useless. i have so many things to say but they r not meant to be known n of cos not to be blogged. But i nv liked to write in those old fashion diaries.. So i can only blog about mundane stuff. like the weather?

when will i get out of this?!

it's been long...

long time since i blogged. sunk into Great Depression the whole of last week. lost interest in doing a lot of things(incl. bloggin) jus felt like freeing away from everyone and be left alone.
well, so far this holis ve not proved to be very fruitful. k, did struggled thru the half marathon(21km) and now workin part-time as Starhub direct sales personnel.
2 days ago news spreaded wildly thru sms tat Mr John Lim, my JC PE dept teacher, had passed away in the midst of his honeymoon in New Zealand. in the next few days, the news was all over the headlines. how saddening, yet his bereaved friends n relatives felt at least they should be glad tat both returned to God's fold together. wat would ve happened if one of them is to survive from the fatal accident? i do believe in fate, destiny. there are certain matters tat r beyond our control.
well, most of all, i shouldn't be depressed at all. life's too short to be unhappy. there r so many things to accomplish. i ve this philosophy tat i should not live beyond 60. y live till so old? i muz learn to let go when it's time. and 2004's comin to an end, wat ve accomplish in these 365 days?

You mean it's over?! The much dreaded exams are over?!?
it's really strange at times...you want somethin so much,but when you get it on ur hands,it doesn't seem like such a big deal afterall.
now that the exams are over,i actually have more time = more things to worry about.

Managed to catch Before Sunset yesterday, before it really sets for good..it was great. The movie ended really abruptly though. Basically,there are only 2 characters and there isn't much action in it, just these 2 people who were in love n still in love, walkin and talkin and talkin and walkin thru the streets of Paris...the lovely thing bout it is the dialogue(well,it's the only thing in the movie) so chillingly real and honest. I was really moved. I seriously felt for the two of them. Oh,maybe cos Ethan Hawke and wat's that actress's name? had such excellent chemistry. They delivered their lines with such finery that they deserve an Oscar each. Every line in it just struck a chord in me. I swear I'm gonna catch the prequel Before Sunrise.

Looks like I'm gonna suffer this Sun n for days after..the Singapore marathon,21km mind you,is jus up my ass.. I'm so ill-prepared like i was takin my psych paper..darn. Time to train...