Drained & wasted

i was contemplating changing my blog name to "Chronicles of a Kopi-boi", but well, it's not exactly that exciting a life.

it just struck me that 3 weeks has passed since exams ended & during these time, i've been waking up at 3a.m almost everyday. thom exclaimed "i dunno of anyone our age who'd wake up at such a time". for the unintiated, i'm a coffee-boy. my mum tends a coffee-stall in a hawker centre. business opens around 3.30a.m everyday. you have to see to believe so many people are awake at such unearthly hours. hawkers do have a miserable life as such. working so hard for measly earnings. the early bird gets the worms eh. businees at this hour caters to cabbies, wet market butchers & co, insomniacs, etc. i'd suggest doing an anthropological study on the "Dying Trade of Hawkers". that and much interesting details another time.

i realised i've not been able to do many of the stuff i planned to busy myself with after the exams. i've not been revising my japanese, not reading enough (only squeezed in enough time to complete 1 book: Great Expectations), not catching up with friends, not blogging down many of my thoughts, not working on my r/ship.

basically, i'm so drained & wasted. yeah, on top of that i'm a part-time maid at home and still tutoring. now to catch some sleep...

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"How about we separate?"

"How long?
10 years...1 year...1 month?"
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Runaway

If i have the chance,
i'll run as far as i can,
& start a new life on my own
& forget everything and everyone related to me.

I pray for that one chance to arrive
before the flame of my soul extinguishes
& my mind falter in the imminent darkness.

Everyday seems just like yesterday

I've not blogged for almost 2 weeks. Maybe cos there isn't much happening within this period.
I've been helping my mum at her work, waking up at 3am on most days. She managed to get a new worker, so my shift will now be from 3am to 6am instead of the usual long hours that can stretch till 2pm. It's tough, but days went by in a wink.

Only went out twice these 2 weeks cos i know i'm not supposed to stay out late in order to wake up at 3am.. The 1st was a army-guys gathering at Chijmes (Kev's choice for sure, i thought) The food was value for money. The servings of ribs, roast chicken were enormous. And the ambience was great, a romantic atmosphere. I could almost feel the same warm fuzzy feeling i experienced in Ex Wallaby, Australia when the rowdy bunch of us gather for chilled beer and fries during the cold nights there.
The 2nd was the day before-Meiqi's birthday celebration. Mind you, this group of us have been celebrating on another's birthday since we were in Sec 3..so that counts for around 7 years. Since i'm one of the 2 default organisers of such gatherings, I called the shots. Brought them to Little India-Blujaz Cafe along Dunlop Street. Been there twice. 1st intoduced to the place during Council x'mas gathering.

Obligations...

I think my life is spun around a web of obligations. Is yours too?

A tuition-marathon today.. 2.30-4pm, 5.30-7pm, 8-9.30pm...
and i'm supposed to wake up at 5am tomorrow morning.

Oyasumi Nasai~

Perspectives...Change...

Change was on my mind for a huge part of yesterday.

Met up with J to catch The Hidden Blade at GV Grand, Great World. I kicked up a big fuss on her taking a cab down as she was late. I thought catching a $9.50 movie was extravagant enough, to add another few dollars to it certainly din make sense. Moreover, the movie will be on screen for another week at least. But..i guess I spoilt the atmosphere. Me and my anal-retentive ways were on screened too.
The movie by Yoji Yamada was a tad too bland for me. The love story between Masatoshi Nagase and Takako Matsu was sidelined in the midst and then highlighted at the end, din like that; poor development. Masatoshi was competent as the lead, though J wouldn't have much impression of him now as he was not eye-candy material for sure. I wouldn't say the same for Takako. She provided the much needed eye-candy, but I thought she lacked a certain coyness of her character, a kind of subtlety i hoped to see. She "looked sweet in a kimono, and sounded sweet with her edo-style japanese"(Kev). That, she was very competent. The film reflected a kind of nostalgia for old Japan, perhaps. The bushido(samurai spirit), the hierarchy, class divisions---are they still relevant in Japanese Society in the contemporary world? Japanese history is indeed interesting, especially the transition period from Edo to Meiji---how 250 years of feudalism give way to modernization. Change is inevitable for survival indeed.

After dinner, we walked up the red-carpeted stairs of the Victoria Concert Hall and indulged in an evening of music courtesy of the Tadashi Yoshida Memorial Orchestra. They played a huge repertoire of classical and pop pieces. Within the short span of 1.5hrs, we were treated to music from the 40s & 50s, classical: Tokyo Symphony No.4, transported to America: Moon River, Paris: Autumn Leaves, Korea: Winter Sonata and back to Japan: theme from Howl's Moving Castle. I would say the orchestra was deserving of the roaring applause from the almost fully-seated audience. The conductor, Yoshinao Osawa, was casual and spoke in jest whenever he had a chance to introduce the pieces. It was entertaining.

On our way home, I told J that although I was looking forward to these 2 events even before the exams, it did not derive as much happiness as I had thought it would have. I guess it was tainted by my less than happy mood. While sending J home, I figured that change is looming. Changing myself, my perspectives of things. Stop being so picky, certain things are pretty trivial, and even if they are serious, do I have to be so affected? I must change and be more receptive? accomodating? If you can't change something/someone you wanna change, y not change yourself?

The end is also the beginning...

Today mark the last day of my exams and also, the end of my 1st yr in university.
These few arduous weeks were a test of endurance and perseverance for me.
I took on the challenge of balancing school with 5 days of tuition a week since the start of this sem and I guess I did manage well enough to keep up with projects and assignments, a whopping 4 projects out of the 5 modules. Wat have I gained after this sem is immeasurable.

1. The Nature of Language
In essence, it was an intoduction to the intricate system of the English language and its structure and forms. I did manage to learn more about the largely taken for granted language, though I still find the content essentially boring. I conclude that although language is an arbitrary system, the importance of effective communication through proper usage of this system is not to be trifled with.

2. Management and Organisation
For most part of the module, I learnt how mundane and dead a business module can be. A thorougly disappointing module with lacklustre teaching. Boo~

3. Japanese Society and Institutions
I was rather engaged in this module. A lot of autonomy was granted on us, the students. It certainly enriched my knowledge on the Japanese society and fueled my interest in related fields like the intriguing geisha and the dichotomies of tatemae/honne, uchi/soto, etc.

4. Japanese language 2
One level up and the difficulty level had increased in unprecedented scales. The majority of the 200 odd takers are highly driven and competition was inevitable. There are rumors that some of them take Japanese courses outside on top of the school's! Language learning would have been so much more fun if it wasn't in such a competitve manner and overly compressed.

5. Global City Tokyo
The module was largely steered toward the economic aspect of the global city paradigm. Lectures were a bore and classroom discussions more often than not, fell flat due to the incompetency of most students in this aspect. However, I managed to piece together a cohesive view of contemporary Tokyo, though many questions were left unanswered.

Very soon, from today in fact, I'll be able to preview the modules available for the next semester. Caution must be taken on the selection, i warn myself yet again.

This semester also marks an end of school-life for many of my friends and many seem as lost as they were before they entered uni on their future prospects. I shall and must not fall into this category. Paving the road ahead is critical for survival in this dog-eat-dog world.

To bring back to my title of this post----very often an end signifies a new beginning and the challenges that entails the new beginning is of greater significance than the its past. To put simply, to be forward looking is the key to unlocking the future ahead of us.