Tsukaremashita ne...

I hate Mondays since eons ago, like sec school days. not only does it give me the blues, it's the only day of the week that i gotta be in school by 8, which translates to waking up at 5.30. Urgh.
Still can't believe that this guy from my TA class fell asleep right in front of the tutor, i muz say he, the tutor, impresses me with his ability to hypnotize.
During Japanese Society lecture today, we viewed a documentary that struck me yet again on the notion of altruism. Does it really exist? The video was about this Japanese couple who, under a family-home program, fostered 8 children on top of bringing up their 3 children. These children were adopted by them as they were being abused and abandoned. And it's not as if they are filthy rich, only the man is working and he is merely a cab driver. Through the interviews, i can almost see angels in the couple, they have so much love that i can almost feel warmer in the freezing lecture theatre.
Then, met up with Okada Sensei and last sem Jap Lang tutorial mates - Hui Luan and Matthew and of course, Jing. Had a good time catching up and getting to know them better. It's rather rare, i think, for tutors to have lunch with students after a semester.
Met up with Thomas and had dinner with him at Munchie Monkeys. The pasta wasn't fantastic though. While eating, thom was busy scribbling on the feedback form that 'the sauce too bland', the 'flooring is so yucks, like eating in a carpark'! he's still the whatever, heck it, muz complain still. It's Thom's 22nd birthday and i wish him happiness.

Cook cook, Clean clean

Spent the whole of today doing house-cleaning, the laundry, made lunch and dinner, putting up Chinese New Year decor.
Deadbeat by now. And i still have not done any studying. Urgh..

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss, at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness, endless love and understanding...

The fatigue in her eyes, the heavy sacks of eye bags, the chapped fingers..nothing in this world can hurt me so much, to reduce me to tears...

this week marked the beginning of tutorials and a dreadful time to make new friends for 4 out of 5 modules this sem require project work. and i've got a lot to catch up with.

"Love is like a fire, it burns for awhile, but eventually goes out, and all your left with is the memory of its warmth." Is that true that love, like a fire, will eventually extinguish? in the 1st month of the year, i've seen 2 friends with this experience.
"True love is knowing a person's faults, and loving them even more for them." If that's the case, i might not know how to love afterall.

Kept humming this song tonight:
All The Way by Frank Sinatra
When somebody loves you
It's no good unless he loves you - all the way
Happy to be near you
When you need someone to cheer you - all the way

Taller than the tallest tree is
That's how it's got to feel
Deeper than the deep blue sea is
That's how deep it goes - if its real

When somebody needs you
It's no good unless he needs you - all the way
Through the good or lean years
And for all the in between years - come what may
Who knows where the road will lead us
Only a fool would say
But if you'll let me love you
It's for sure I'm gonna love you - all the way
All the way

Jazz me up anytime...

The Look Of Love : Diana Krall
written by cahn/van heusen

I�e seen the look - of a baby with a rattle
I�e seen the look - of a hero in a battle
I�e seen the look - of a heart sick turtle love
But the look that leaves you real shook - is the look of love

I�e seen the look - of a jockey on a winner
I�e seen the look - of a fat man having dinner
I�e seen the look - of those space men up above
But the look that closes the book - is the look of love

It� thunder, it� lightening
The gentlest breeze
It� friendly, it� frightening
And more surprising than an elephant� sneeze

I�e seen the look - every single blushing bride has
I�e seen the look - that the fellow by her side has
But there� one look - that I� give my life to see
We are locked in a wondrous embrace - and there on that fabulous face
Is that fabulous look of love - for me
(that� what I want to see)
(that look of love for me)

had my 1st encounter with my new batch of tuition kidz.
at marine parade. had a hard time lookin for the block cos in the first place, i got the wrong address. You see, i was speakin to a Chinese national lady on the phone n i misheard Blk18 for 48, cos they kinda sound alike in chinese. And a number of very "helpful" passer-bys i stopped, tried to give me directions to Blk 48 when it actually doesn't exist! k,they are a pair of twins from China, Sec 2 now..when in china they should be in the spore equivalent of jc1. so naturally they find the syllabus a breeze, but only the content though cos their impairment is the language - English. I deduced their english std to be around our pri 4 level(!)..so i was quite worried for myself. while chattin with them i sub-consciously adopted a beijing accent n they actually found it rather pleasant. ahem..
To my amazement, they revealed to me tat back home, a normal school day for them starts at 6.30am n end only at 9pm!! yeah,totally no life, no cca kinda thing. Since they trotted to spore last nov, they found our school system so much more laid back. hmm, i was contemplating whether to take up this mission-slightly-impossible tuition offer, but man, i so need the money. So yeah, gonna try it out for a month.
then i was off to east coast for a short 4km run and jing did a jog. met liana there! there she was happily picnickin with her friends while i was sweatin it out, heh, she offered me a few home-made sardine rolls n they were yummylicious.
aft the run, dropped by the jazzpiration event at the outdoor stage. To my delight, Claressa Monteiro was performing. And woohoo, she's hot. i was swayed by the music and soakin in the romantic atmosphere. she did a cover of Diana Krall's The Look of Love, fabulous.
Had dinner at the nearby kopitiam - curry chicken with rice.
then we settled down at mc-cafe with a cup of Fluffy(wrote 'marshmellows on steamed milk', apparently the marshmellows are jus plain foam..) jing did a lil reading of her social work notes while i memorised some japanese vocab words. then home-sweet-home with The Look of Love still ringing in my ears..

rock on baby...

these few days jus rockz(as in rock bands).
wed was at the library with alan tryin to get down to some readings when we heard some loud thumpings. after some persuasion from alan, we went down to the forum where some bands were performing. yeah,it was nice to watch these guys strut their stuff.
After tutorin nico, headed down to selegie with his dad n had dinner at Mr Bean's. It's opened 24hrs! had a set dinner of grilled fish. not too bad. no complains. we talked about a lot of stuff. mostly raymond was gushing about his exhilarating adventure-trail race at Genting. It sounds too physically-demanding for me, yet he stressed that a 48yo lady, with a 20yo son, came in 2nd in the women's open. then we talked about relationships, he shared his experiences with his wife while i field him questions like a reporter.

thur dragged myself to school for the manual registration for the tutorials that i failed to get. It went more smoothly then i thought. went home straight after that, was feelin feverish, must be the weather. then took a short nap before rushing down to explanade to catch yingyi's band, Throb, perform. it was cool. their music's difficult to classify..dance-groove, rock, lounge, bossa, all rolled in one. jing, mingyan & jim, xiaohui & her fren lydia, tim & aloysius were there. hardcore fans we are. the music was so rousing that this 60+yo uncle stood out quite abruptly and began dancing in front of the greatly amused audience. he was amazing, eye-opening and hilarious at the same time. his dance stint was a fusion of cha cha, taiji, lindy hop, ballet, etc. he was indeed entertaining. then yy & tim, me & jing headed down to zouk. we had a really hard time waiting for a cab cos gotta make it there b4 2230 - we were on invites, free entrance!
managed to reach there in time n caught Observatory, an acclaimed local band, performed. they were great. saw kevin t and david in the crowd. then got lychee martinis at 1-for-1, tasted more like lychee juice.
then, it was unanimous, erm, between the guys, to grab a bite first cos the music kinda sucked(local dj). it was Bak Kut Tea for supper, 7min walk from zouk. it tasted too peppery and was a little ex. 2bucks for 40cents of you tiao. after we went back with full tummies, the music did not take a good turn and left with jing around 0130.

today, woke up late n did some house-cleaning: windows n laundry. then met up with prema at eastpoint starbucks, finally. it has been a year since we last met n she hasn't changed much. talked about where this who n that who ended up doing and was nice to see her doing stuff she's happy about. then, it was tuition with keith. after tuition, decided to walk back to simei station instead of the usual bus. had dinner,yong tau foo, alone at a kopitiam. walked around eastpoint n ended up at Pet Safari. spent eons gazing at the cutesy dogs n rabbits. i love the siberian husky and the mini shnauzers. they look so sad through the glass cages and so yearning for love and attention.

well well, no physical activity this week so far, gotta run tomorrow.

The friendship that can cease has never been real...

These few days past by in a wink. Din achieve much.
Met qi,benson,shelvi,louis,with jing @ benson's pad on sat.
We had a great time cookin and preparing steamboat, but did have a lot of leftover food.
was really interestin to be sharin ghostly encounters over the sizzlin hot grill n steamboat..
the last time i had such gathering with them was in oct 03? no one has changed much.
then went on to probe qi on her shortlived 1st r/ship. so ended the nite on a sad note.

half of my sun was spent @ Expo's MPH warehouse sale. picked up 6 books from 5 bucks..all cheep cheep. Love to read psycho-thrillers,heinous crimes,dysfunctional families,the more screwed up, the better..to satisfy the sadistic side of me.
then headed home n caught Tiger Cup finals in the evenin with Joe. Singaporeans are just so "face-conscious". Everyone only got so fanatic after the lions' surprise win in the 1st leg. We only got so supportive when we are pretty confident that we will clinched the coveted cup of honor. it irked me a little. but well, who likes to "lose face" in S'pore?

just another day...

the first week of school had just flew past in a wink.
and i savored all of the 5 modules i'll be taking this semester, the aftertaste tells me that it's not that palatable i guess. Most of the lecturers are drop dead boring.

had my routine tutoring session at simei. the boy's keith.
he's a bright boy,pity his english. he's very shy and quiet. reminds me of myself when i was his age,albeit i was ahem..cuter and erm...twice his size. i bought a copy of newpaper for his reading pleasure,apparently his family do not read the papers at all. and i made him read the article and thereafter,do a summary on it. Heh,told him to imagine himself as a reporter and i'm the chief editor. he's suppose to summarise it for another column. the article's about a father who slipped down a steep slope and died while gatherin herbs that apparently cost 50cents. The herbs were for his youngest kid who couldn't talk or walk. His wife is left widowed with 5 children,eldest being 16 and youngest,2. they are so poor that they couldn't afford a coffin. the newpaper featured their plight and donations poured in.
The article started off by writing that it'll melt anyone's heart after reading it. Apparently,not.
keith, a 12yo singapore-bred kid,stays in a condo and has a well-guarded life. totally unworldly.
yeah,i shouldn't blame him for his age. but when i asked him how he felt after readin the article,there wasn't a single hint of apathy in his eyes..
is it the educational system of today?
or is it the lack of parental guidance at home?
the necessary evils of a money-infatuated society?
i've seen quite a number of children lately and they are so fortunate that they lost the ability to feel for the unfortunates.

This song is taken from Jewel's debut album,Pieces of You, and it can't be more appropriate.

Little Sister
Hey little sister, I heard you went to mister so-and-so,
Knock, knock, knocking on his door
Again last night, said you needed it bad.
You know that ain't right.
'Cause so many times you've come to me cry, crying,
Trying to stop, you said it hurts so bad
But please don't let you
Go back for more.

My little sisiter is a zombie in a body
With no soul; a role she has learned to play,
In a world today where nothing else matters.
But it matters, we gotta start feeding our souls,
Not our addictions or afflictions of pain.
To avoid the same questions we must
Ask ourselves to get any answers,
We gotta start feeding our souls...

Have been lost to the millions with lots
Who feed on addiction selling pills and what's hot.
I wish I could save her from all their delusions,
All the confusion,
Of a nation that starves for salvation.
But clothing is the closest approximation
To God and He only knows that drugs
Are all we know of love.

Ev'ry day we starve while we eat white bread
And beer instead of a handshake or hug.
We spill the pills and sweep them under the rug.
My little sisiter is a zombie in a body
With no soul; a role she has learned to play,
In a world today where nothing else matters.
But it matters, we gotta start feeding our souls.

Thurdays are my off days...

Yeah. no school,no tuitions on thurdays.
woke up with a terrible tummy-ache,wat a way to start my off day.
when it got better, i dragged myself to the gym. it's been long since i've been to Bedok gym, or even to any gym. worked out my arms and chest and abs(sorry,it's currently concealed, under construction). with my upper body still achin, i went down to east coast park,alone,and did a short run,around 5 to 6 km.. then headed to nearby mac and sat down to learn new Japanese vocab words.
i love the beach. but not s'pore's though. i remember the crystal clear waters of tioman island and rockhampton..i wish for a home to be near the beach, but this reminds me of the tsunami incident.

Much ado about nothing...

I can't procrastinate anymore.
I should start concretizin my resolutions.
I gotta start runnin n gymmin. urgh. Since i decided to join the biathlon with jing on 20th Feb.
Though it's only a 5km run, i better be in good form.

start saving..from where? ok, i would be gettin my tuition fees next week, but 1/2 will go to the pockets of the tuition agency. Now on my status quo, i'd have 3 tutor kids by next week.

sheesh,really gotta scrimp n save a lot. hmm, phone bill...then internet bill...transport...sch expenses..food...wat ve i left?

met rosvinder on the train, she was jus sittin directly opposite me. she's still that ditzy quirky ger but hey, she's gonna be a teacher someday-now with NIE.

Anecdotes of a day

Had 2 lectures today.
Dun like to have lecture in tutorial room. It's very cramp..and since i was late and a few buggers from the 6pm slot crash my lec,i was almost left standing for the whole lec.
Suzuki sensei still looks good and seems to me a another stressful time on this module.
Then attended Dr Asato's lec on Global City,Tokyo. Sheesh,i was bored to tears. Got very frantic after the lec cos i panic to drop this module and find a replacement. But in vain..cos i got a strictly "no-8 am-lectures" rule and thur's gotta remain as my free day.
So well,i might just have to suffer in silence for a whole sem but i really like the module content tho.

then after sch got free ride on vince's car cos he happened to need to go home n i was rushin to for tuition.
then aft tuition went down to Amara shopping centre with Jing where Union Square,a salsa pub, is located. it's really cool and mingyan was the one who enticed us to take a look there. it's really different from the pubs i went before. first,the cover charge is only 6bucks and that includes a drink. The music is very groovy and the crowd's in for fun. But me n Jing just sat down and acted as voyeurs. Jing suggested learning salsa like a month ago. but i was so broke then, and not much better off now.. yeah,when i've got the dough,anything goes.

Sleepless Night...

My mind's a blank.
Loss for words.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me


I can still feel the breeze that rustles through the trees
And misty memories of days gone by
We could never see tomorrow,
no one said a word about the sorrow
And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man? How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again

You don't marry someone you can live with,you marry the person who you cannot live without.

Love is strong yet delicate.It can be broken.To truly love is to understand this.To be in love is to respect this.- Stephen Packer -

A man's friendships are one of the best measures of his worth.

Met up with Vince,Dave n Raymond,oh,and his wife. brought them to Blu jaz cafe located at Little India,yeah.. met up real late,reached there around 10:30 le,then we ordered some food,i swallowed a chicken burger..then took a ride home courtesy of dave.

deadbeat now,but still don't feel like sleeping yet. Woke up at 3am this morning, how i managed to survive till now is a mystery. Biddin was damn xiong for management n org. Finally got it n takin it with vince.
HAha,realised there's actually more people than i expected takin the level 2 jap lang and jap studies modules. no worries le..

chatted with a few ppl who had gone for SEP. realised they spent at least 8 to 10k, when will i be able to save that kind of money. start scrimping now?...my dreams,are they meant to be jus dreams...

Time is the most valuable thing one can spend...

yeah,was talkin to meiqi n jing over supper jus now n realise oh gosh,it's been one yr since we stayed overnight at thomas's b'day chalet. It's jan again n his 22nd birthday is around the corner. played badminton with thom,meiqi,eugene n jing at bedok cc jus now..now limbs achin le.

earlier,met up with jap studies group mates at kbox cine. man,can they sing. Eh, shuhui sounds like SHE's selena,jiahui sounds like elva and liling like tanya..as for weiyang..eh,he wasn't that audible..still,he injects enough emotions.
then,they followed me blindly..walkin all over taka,lookin for a small restaurant that sells nice taiwanese food..eh,was lost. had to check with info counter then realised muz ve closed down for at least a yr..
then we headed Ya kun at far east but ended up at gelare cos today's tues! 1/2 price waffles!
yummy..then sat there for at least an hour plus..chattin bout school,life,blah blah...

A little startled...

after days of module bidding, finally got the major modules..and to my amaze,the number of students taking the modules with me are pathetically few! em,few is an understatement.
Let's see..for my Japanese Language 2,only 7!!! aha...
for the other 2 japanese studies modules..only 10 n 12 each!! Din expect such a small turnout.
I guess in no time, the lecturers n tutors will be able to memorise not only my face, but even my home add,ic number...ha
Yeah, that also means no room for slacking. Gee.

Met up with Benson last night, walked a little..bought 'Before Sunrise' vcd at borders.. Aw, i so much wanna watch this prequel after catchin 'Before Sunset'.. I love its honesty.
Then bought some bak gua strips at Mei Zhen Xiang for my jap studies group mates cos i still owe them..and meetin them today in 2 hours.